Luck Has Nothing To Do With It

My friend Lori sent me a text last month that read:

"Did you know that, according to ancient Greek mythology, people used to have 2 heads & 4 arms and legs? Zeus decided this wasn't right, so he split the people in half with a lightning bolt.. now people spend their lives searching for the other half of their souls."

I didn't believe in soul mates until this summer. Even still, whenever I surround the issue with a cloud of logic, or at least attempt to approach it from such a perspective, I find the idea to be at best, plausible, and at worst, unapproachably mystifying. Who can say what the soul is in the first place, let alone who it belongs to?

As of late, I've been incredibly boy crazy, and not so much in the sense of just looking for someone to kiss or be intimate or share the secrets of my soul with, but rather, it seems I'm looking for something or someone so valuable to me I can't quite put it into words or even visualize what he looks like, so I just look for what I know I'm attracted to--vague surface qualities, like a pretty face, a kind smile, a willing heart, or a pair of brilliant brown eyes that pull me in. None of these factors seem to matter when I stop and think about why I might be feeling the way I'm feeling. When I strip away the paint, I'm left with a mirror, and the reflection is only me, asking why I'm not enough. Admitting this is probably one of the most difficult things for me to do. I would much rather continue living in my delusional world ruled by fate and luck, waiting for the Universe to do all the work for me.

Luck has a way of making me feel at odds with the world.

I secretly believe my soul is made up of little bits and pieces of knowledge it has collected over the course of its journey. I'm also a believer in multiple soul mates. Just like one can have more than one best friend, so can one have multiple soul mates. If you believe that human lives can and indeed do transcend their earthly time frames, how can you argue against it? Out of all my best friends, though, beyond the people I grew up with, and deeper than my most intimate family connections, I feel a calling. It's a voice so distant I can barely even hear it, yet it's so true I always return to it. Whoever that voice belongs to has my heart and soul without question, and whenever I find them, luck will have had no part to play in it.