The Thrill of Movies and Holiday Music

Last night, I dreamt I was Icarus. Well, more or less. I was still me, but I had wings attached to my arms.

Thanksgiving was a bore through and through. Granted, I didn't expect it to be too thrilling. I spent most of it eating cereal and trying to connect to spotty wifi. I must've sent four hundred text messages and slept a total of thirty hours in the time span of three days. I was with family, and that was nice. But family gets old real quick. For some reason, I always expect my family to be drilling me with questions over what I've been doing with my life for the time they haven't seen me, a.k.a. the past three or four months. In reality, they didn't really seem concerned. The only question everyone asked me was, "How's school?" I just answered, "Good." I didn't get a chance to see the three people I really would've liked to see--my mom, my sister, and my cousin Rachel. They live three hours away and all had to work.

Yesterday my aunt and I went to the Salvation Army in search of cheap clothes. I bought two sweaters and two flannel shirts, all of which I could've gone without and saved ten dollars. I also spent too much on sleepwear at Ross. I have this habit of spending money on things I don't need. It's almost like an addiction. If I have money, I'm compelled to spend it. It's a habit I'm trying to break.

I forgot how much I like Christmas. I used to hate Christmas music, but now I find myself buying Josh Groban's Christmas CD and ripping my aunt's copy of Celine Dion's Christmas album onto my computuer. I watched "The Santa Clause" (the one with Tim Allen) over Thanksgiving. Then I watched part of the sequel last night.

Thank goodness for Turner Classic Movies. Something about watching black and white movies makes me feel more intellectual. Last night, I fell asleep to "The Picture of Dorian Gray." How that prompted a dream about Icarus is beyond me.

That Time Of Year When It's Acceptable To Be An Unproductive Cow

I'm going home tomorrow. And by home, I mean Enid. My family is celebrating Thanksgiving at my aunt's, and I couldn't be more excited to see them.

It seems everyone else has left campus to go back home for the break, but I'm still here! Me and my friend Brett. We still have obligations--I, piano at five o'clock; he, a voice lesson at four-thirty. There's a mellow atmosphere hanging around in his room right now, where I'm typing this. Usually there's at least four to twelve people in here at any given moment. But not now. Now, everyone is making the arduous journey back home for the remainder of the week to eat and be lazy. How beautiful.

I went to my friend Hannah's family reunion on Saturday, and I loved it. Her family reminds me of my own--loud, unreserved, and country to the max. The ride to the house alone required a bumpy fifteen-minute trek across a dirt road littered with pot holes and jagged rocks in Hannah's tiny red sedan. But it was worth it. Home cooked food and a three-hour nap make the trip worth it. Plus, I got a picture with a horse.

More importantly, though... I was a gazelle on Friday!!! My wish finally came true, thanks to some $10 Halloween makeup, brown and white pipe cleaners, and a little creativity. I felt accomplished.

I've made such close friends in the past month. I like having real bonds with people I can really trust. It takes some weeding through, like always, but when you find those select few people who just GET you, there's really no comparison.

I just ate half a bag of lime-flavored tortilla chips.

Papa-, Papa-, Paparazzi...

I'm so behind on schoolwork! My life is in slow-motion right now. Lately I've been caring less and less about homework and more and more about hanging out with my friends. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I haven't gone to bed before 2 a.m. in... a week? It's been so long, I don't even remember. Last night instead of doing homework like I'd originally planned, I watched YouTube videos of Lady Gaga and a reporter getting caught on fire.

The truth is, I'm not really behind on schoolwork. I'm just lagging. I'll get it all done, that's for sure. I just won't get it all done in advance like I usually do. I'm learning to deal with not having everything planned out and scheduled ahead of time. It all seems to work out in the end.

Someone set up a hammock outside. I'm tempted to take a nap in it, but I don't know how comfortable I'd be sleeping in a public place. That worries me, and I'm not sure why.

Barbed Wire Circled My Right Arm For Three Days

It's ironic that my last blog entry was titled "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas," because they've started putting up Christmas decorations around campus, which feels ridiculous right now considering Thanksgiving is still two weeks away and it's seventy degrees outside.

I sure hope it snows sometime soon. The thing about winter in Oklahoma is that it's windy 85% of the time, so when it does snow, the wind whips the snow around like a blizzard and makes it feel colder than it really is. I remember one day in high school when the wind was practically nonexistent and the snow just fell from the sky, silently and peacefully. It felt like a scene from The Chronicles of Narnia. I wish there were more days like that.

Church choir is like going to the gym (I say that as if I actually GO to the gym): It sucks, but you know that the benefits are well worth the suffering. Yesterday we were called to both services--morning and afternoon. That meant I had to wake up at seven to get to the church at seven-thirty to sing with fifteen other equally-tired-yet-still-willing-to-scream-at-the-top-of-their-lungs-despite-not-having-warmed-up voices. It's all one big shouting match. My voice felt like someone had slit it with razor blades. But hey, at least I'm getting paid. Afterwards, I hung out with my friends Kat, Alex, and Katie for three hours straight. We did nothing but sit in talk, which is the best form of hanging out, in my opinion.

I've been listening to Imogen Heap's new album, and the more I listen to it, the more I'm reminded of why I love her so much as an artist. Her music is great, but the lyrics are what make the music. She's an amazing writer. I thought of a line from one of her old songs that I really love--"You sleep here, I sleep there... But then the heating may be down again." Her words are all about love and relationships, which by all means is the biggest cliche in the realm of popular music. It's tragically over-fantasized and painstakingly inflated so much so that it overshadows so many other amazing categories of human emotion. But I respect her poems not only because the music they're set to has merit and weight but also because of the delicately way in which they're written. Imogen Heap is skillful in creating the right balance of personal insight and relatable self-indulgence. It takes thought to decipher her words, but they're not so cloudy as to confuse the listener, like, say, 'I Am The Walrus' or something by outlandish lyricists such as Bjork or Juana Molina. On the other hand, they're not so blatantly obvious that one's intelligence is insulted just by listening to them.

Wow, I just went on a really long rant about Imogen Heap...

Meanwhile, I've been thinking about scents that I don't like. The one that sticks out in my mind right now: the cafeteria. I hate smelling like it after I've eaten there. Once you've been in the caf for more than thirty minutes, that stench is gonna stay with you. Odors are like that, though; they just don't go away. They're like bad dreams.

This weekend, I went to a Maury-themed party dressed as white trash. My two girlfriends were named Bambie and Nikkie. I had both of their names tattooed on my chest. In Sharpie, of course.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas. Or Is It?

It's sad to think that people just skip over Thanksgiving and automatically go into Christmas mode after Halloween. I mean, what does Thanksgiving have that trumps Christmas? The Macy's parade? Come on... We all know who wins this battle. I've been thinking about movies that I'd like to watch for the Christmas season. "The Nightmare Before Christmas" has been on my mind lately for some reason, probably because I haven't seen it in a long time. I even dreamt about it last night. This topic was discussed at the dinner table this evening. Some titles that were brought up: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," both new and old versions (I prefer the newer one), "A Christmas Story," "It's A Wonderful Life," and "Christmas With the Kranks" (one of my favorites).

Lately, I've been feeling nostalgic. I was writing a letter to my friend yesterday, and I rambled on and on for a good full page about scents and how much I appreciate the memories they can evoke. I've also been thinking about my family a lot. At dinner, my friends and I were discussing the issue of homesickness. One of my friends said she cries every day because of it. Literally. I guess homesickness entails more than just missing your home; I think it means missing everything that's familiar to you, like friends, family, or just the things you grew up seeing (or smelling) on a regular basis. It's interesting to think about what comforts us. I, for one, miss staying up til one in the morning during the summer watching "Obsessed" on A&E with my best friend. I used to read my Bible every night when I lived at home, mainly because I was alone most of the time and it was easy for me to concentrate. I don't do that anymore simply because I'm around people ALL the time, and I honestly have no idea where my Message Remix Bible is. I'm thankful that I'm okay with being away from my family for long periods of time, no matter how much I really miss them.

Does anyone else get addicted to YouTube videos? I have two that I've been watching over and over for days now. They're both music videos. One is the song "Carousel" by Iron & Wine; the other is a video of Missy Higgins singing "Sugarcane" live at a benefit. They just put me in a good mood, which is what all good music is supposed to do, I guess.

Songs and scents: Two things I could never live without.

Seasonal Changes

I woke up two hours early for church on Sunday. Not on purpose, though. I didn't realize that daylight saving time ended at two a.m. that morning. I don't like this time change. It gets dark around six, which is preposterous, in my opinion. It makes me think there's less time in the day to get things done. I love winter, but I also love daylight saving time. Some things were just never meant to coexist. Like brown and navy blue.

Apparently they turn off the hot water in Banning at eight in the morning. It comes back on sometime in the afternoon, at least by twelve, because that's when I had to take my shower today. It's inconvenient to say the least. The worst part is that they didn't tell any of the students that they're doing this. We just kinda found out on our own. Good thing I usually shower before eight in the mornings.

But the bigger issue is... Why is it 70 degrees outside?? I'm from Oklahoma, and I guess I've never noticed how schizophrenic my state's weather is until everyone from out-of-state started complaining about it. Last week I swear the temperature never rose above fifty. Now, it's sunny and feels like April. And I know for a FACT that it isn't April, because that's when my birthday is.