Under Someone's Spell

How do you explain why clouds disappear to a four-year-old? Well, I tried. I said, "When it's wet outside, there are clouds, but when it gets dry, they go away." I thought I pretty much covered it.

Sometimes the clouds are big and fluffy; sometimes they're thin and wispy. Each type is a sign, a way to gauge some aspect of the weather. To me, clouds are just water. Just ... water waiting to fall back to the ground or the sea or wherever it began its journey to the sky. The amount of water waiting to fall changes constantly.

So it is with emotions, right?

Why is it so strange for Fiona Apple to sing that she's only happy when it rains? I find rain quite cleansing. It's as if, when it rains, all the emotions that were pent up inside me just pour out, symbolized by the precipitation I see. It may be a stretch but it's what I believe. It helps me make sense of my emotional life and emotional tendencies (Don't even get me started on the moon's cycles).

I've been under someone's spell lately.

Because It's April

Winter was long. Winter is always long, though, in my opinion. It seems to suck all the life out of me, any and all desire to do anything worthwhile. Winter is a lot of sitting indoors, wishing I could be outside. April just gets me. Yeah sure it's my birthday month and people will say I'm biased (because I am), but that doesn't change the way I feel. April will always be my month, easily the most joyous time of year. I believe if Heaven exists, it feels like April.

I can't help feeling unfair whenever I criticize crusty Old Man Winter. He's beautifully misunderstood, like the crazy cat lady next door from your childhood. You knew she must've had a big heart because who in their right mind would take in thirteen cats? Yet, you always skipped her house when you were selling fudge door to door for that annual middle school marching band fundraiser. Winter is as hauntingly beautiful as death can be. So for those of you with winter birthdays, you have my respect as well as my condolences.

Back to April. In my delusional world, it's the best month because not only do you get to witness nature's glorious rebirth, you also have a huge list of reasons to celebrate, no matter who you are. For example:

1. National Poetry Month (okay that was lame I know)

2. National Mathematics Month (even lamer but stay with me)

3. April Fools Day

4. Earth Day

5. 4/20

6. Easter Sunday, which is all about the chocolate, of course

7. WARM SUNNY WEATHER

So break out those cardigans and get your asses to the nearest park and start celebrating.