Picture this. You're sitting in a crowded cafeteria, surrounded by your classmates (or, "colleagues," as your professors would say) enjoying your lunch. While the program for the first musical of the season is being passed around the table, a few people make a comment or two about how many Bible verses certain cast members used in their bios. Coincidentally, a trio of self-acknowledged Christians sit directly to your right, all three of whom you would consider your friends, or at the very least, your acquaintances.
You immediately recognize the conflict that might possibly arise, so you take what you think to be a preemptive strike by turning to your staunchly Christian friend who is sitting to your right and saying, "No offense. You know that Christianity is just an easy target here."
Only to have her retort, "So are gay people."
You feel a rush of blood flush your cheeks very briefly. You are stunned at not so much what she said but how she said it, almost like she was so offended and quietly outraged that she felt the need to degrade a particular demographic which, if you will recall, had no hand in the aforementioned comments made about the Bible verse bios.
Okay, I get it, I get it. She's mad because she's a straight Christian female at a very liberal college, no less a home to a centralized community of gays than a Joyce Meyer conference is a beehive of activity for charismatic Christians. She's also mad because she probably feels like she can't voice her honest opinions without fear of being criticized by the cloud of liberal minds that surround her every single day. How frustrating it must be to finally know what it feels like to be marginalized.
Anyway. This little incident brings to light a much larger issue that I struggled with all through high school: How does homosexuality fit into Christianity? Or does it fit at all? It's a question I think a lot of Christians feel the need to finally deal with now that being gay is no longer considered "sinful" or "wrong" in the eyes of mainstream culture.
I don't think many people at my school know how much I love God. Perhaps it's because I don't generally talk about God to people in everyday conversations. Perhaps it's because I don't tell many people that my best friend and I went to church together for five years in high school without being told to by our parents. Perhaps it's because I don't quote Bible verses, not that there's anything wrong with that. Perhaps the simple fact that I'm recognizably gay to most people automatically turns off the God switch in their brains. ("Oh, he's gay. He probably has beef with Christianity.") From my experience, a good number of people understand gays in very simple terms, as either one extreme or the other. You're either a flaming queer who spouts his or her beliefs just as self-righteously as any Westboro Baptist or a closet case who is too scared to believe in or defend anything.
The truth is, there are gay Christians and there are straight atheists, just like there are gay Republicans and straight Democrats. What is it about our culture that drives us to force labels on everything and everyone? Are sweeping generalizations and outdated stereotypes really the only way we have of understanding each other? I think we'd all agree that the answer to that question is no.
Today in my music history class, we discussed gender roles in Europe's Renaissance period. Our teacher asked the class where we thought the idea of assigning gender roles to music might have come from. A stream of answers followed, but the topic itself left more unanswered questions in my mind than anything. What is gender? Or, more importantly, why is gender?
In our search for answers to such questions, I think the most important thing to remember amidst the confusion is our humanity. What makes us human, in my opinion, is not our ability to communicate or feel compassionate, but rather our ability to retain that sense of mutual respect amongst each other, knowing that no one's ideas are any more or less valid than anyone else's. Deep down, I think we all know we're all eventually going to die and none of this will even matter once we've been sucked back up into the unfathomable and all-encompassing living breath of the Universe.
But who am I to make such assumptions?
Friday, September 28, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
All I Can Really Hope To Live For
Do you ever think about the people you affect just by living your life? Last night I fell asleep thinking about evolution. I didn't used to believe in it, but that was back in high school when my thinking was heavily steered by what I was being taught in my nondenominational charismatic Christian church. I have come to terms with believing in evolution simply because after having given it what some would dub "rational thought" and weighing out all the possibilities in my mind, it seems the best possible explanation. That's not to say, however, that I no longer believe in creationism. That's one belief I will never be able to give up. I say "able" instead of "willing" because I feel as though my believing in a higher power's creation of my existence was and is not a personal choice, although some may argue otherwise.
I agree with the sensible and elegant explanations of my physical being offered to me by the theory of evolution as easily as I agree with the notion of extra-terrestrial life elsewhere in the universe. From my angle, as a good Hindu might say, if the odds of something being true outweigh the superstition or fear of it being true, chances are the most reasonable explanation is accurate and, indeed, true.
That being said, I consider myself three things: a child, a scientist, and a pacifist. A child in the sense that everything to me is possible, or rather anything is possible in every sense of the word; a child in the sense of my unbiased acceptance of what I observe and experience as basis and grounds for exploration. A scientist in a basic sense of the word because everything must be questioned. And a pacifist in the most basic sense of the word; I don't look for answers in morality, but rather solutions in the cooperation of all things in nature.
Last night I thought about one particular day in my high school biology class when we were discussing evolution. At the time, I agreed with my teacher, as did the rest of our tiny five- or six-person class, so no real tension arose, and the discussion became less of a discussion and more of a group support session about how none of us believed in evolution, commandeered by our teacher. The funny thing is, I remember listening to her reasonings behind her beliefs, processing them, and agreeing with them just as easily as I could listen to and process the reasonings of an adamant evolutionist today. So I think to myself, "What has changed?"
The complex answer to that question, I'm finding, comes from a much less complex understanding of what it means to be human, or even further, what it means to exist. No surprise these fun little musings sprung up in my mind around 2 a.m., I should guess. Anyway, just roll with me here, if you feel so inclined. If not, please feel no personal obligation to continue reading this blog post.
I read an article online this morning about a young woman's most profound spiritual experience. Actually, I shouldn't say it was her "most profound" because I don't know if she's had any experiences she considers more profound since writing the article. Anyway, it was about 300 words recounting a trip she made to South America where she encountered a deep sense of self-worth just from being out in the open spaces of a rocky region in the mountains. One line stuck out in particular to me, and it went something like this (I'm loosely paraphrasing): What I realized about unity, about being part of a whole, is that my life is a journey in living within the illusion of life but never accepting it. Wow, I thought. How can such a simple statement affect me so deeply? I felt taken aback for a brief moment as I ate my breakfast omelette and sipped my orange juice. The line set up shop in my mind as I contemplated it and prepared to explore what it had to offer me.
So frequently have I found that life's most elusive mysteries, questions like "What's the meaning of life?" or "How do I find happiness?" resound powerfully within us because our mind's don't quite know how to answer them yet we desperately desire an answer anyway. To me, that speaks volumes about what's important to us as creatures, as objects in our own rights. Who we are is defined by the questions we ask. Every person I've ever met has wondered what their purpose is. Why is that? Some would say that it's an illusion of our own consciousness, that our minds have evolved to a level of intelligence where it's possible to facilitate meaning to everything, including our own lives, even when there may be none. Others might say it's because there truly is a purpose, or reason, to everything.
I agree with both views.
The very fact that this random girl's article affected me so deeply tells me two things: first, that her words "mean" something to me, for whatever reasons, and second, that I have the ability to recognize that meaning and assign in a place in my life, or my plan of actions waiting to be performed, to put it blandly. Furthermore, the fact that I'm writing this very blog post in order to share this newfound knowledge is proof to me that meaning is inherently infectious. When a child learns something new, what do they do? They tell everyone ALL about it. Kids really can talk for days. When I was a kid and my parents got divorced, I used to sit in the back seat of my mom's car when she came to pick me up for a visit and babble, babble, babble about all the things I felt she should be updated on in my 8-year-old life. Our egos are marvelous machines. But let's be honest. As extensions of our physical bodies, it should come as no surprise to us that our own general states of self-awareness have the power to figuratively and quite literally shape the world around us. Our egos are responsible for every shade of meaning we will ever perceive in our lives.
It's my belief that humanity is in a current state of transition from our soon-to-be brutish past of competition, capitalism, and neighborly envy to a more (uh oh I'm gonna use this word) enlightened state of greater awareness of, respect for, and practical cooperation with each other. This is the true beginning of the Information Age, a cultural crossroads in which knowledge is no longer safeguarded by higher authorities in an attempt to maintain power but instead shared freely among individuals who seek to further their own understanding of the world around them. Along with this era comes the inevitable defiance of the ego, or as I like to refer to it, the struggling memory of our former selves. As purpose for the ego diminishes, society flourishes and evolution naturally takes over.
But what does that mean? Basically, to me, it means letting go. It means fundamentally rejecting what holds oneself back from progress. Ironically, the "Self" part is exactly what holds one's self back. The Self, or Ego, demonstrates considerable clout in determining what we think and do. It's responsible for our tendencies to step back, hesitate, and of course fear. It's responsible for some productive and responsible things as well, like self-evaluation and conflict resolution, because, as my Wellness professor put it when referring to the common practice of Body Mass Indexing, if it weren't useful, we wouldn't still use it. I think, as this surge in technology and modern medicine moves forward, many people, myself included, begin to seek answers that science can't yet provide. And yet, our egos seem to hold us back by reminding us of our own imperfections.
Humans have evolved, or adapted, if you prefer, an awareness of the ego, an understanding of the glue that keeps our "selves" (moral sentiments, emotions, convictions, insecurities, pride, self-worth) together, as well as a slightly less foggy understanding of how that glue works. Our brains are clever. Clever enough to trick actually themselves into believing whatever they want, choose, or need to believe, so I am inspired by anyone who really "gets" this concept. The rise of a greater awareness of all of this makes this a stage in our collective history unlike anything previously written down in textbooks or scribbled onto the memory of our minds.
Whether or not someone agrees with or believes in evolution or creationism or hedonism or omelette-ism means nothing to me. Evolution is simply a word that means "moving forward." I don't really know what the exact etymology of the word is but you get where I'm coming from, right? Look around you and you'll notice that life doesn't stand still; it moves forward, always, in an unending rhythm of symmetrical harmony. For whatever reasons, this is what it is and how it is. There's no denying it. So why fight it? Why argue over whether or not evolution is right or whether it's wrong? Why stand around debating the semantics which we ourselves created? Even though it's my nature to do so, I don't like to assume. I can assume, though, based on twenty-one fresh years of childlike observation, that anyone who is like me, aka human, will be able and willing to connect in some way to what I'm saying, care about it, build off of it, hopefully help it grow, and let it benefit the both of us. That's the type of behavior I believe will change the world. It's all I can really hope to live for.
I agree with the sensible and elegant explanations of my physical being offered to me by the theory of evolution as easily as I agree with the notion of extra-terrestrial life elsewhere in the universe. From my angle, as a good Hindu might say, if the odds of something being true outweigh the superstition or fear of it being true, chances are the most reasonable explanation is accurate and, indeed, true.
That being said, I consider myself three things: a child, a scientist, and a pacifist. A child in the sense that everything to me is possible, or rather anything is possible in every sense of the word; a child in the sense of my unbiased acceptance of what I observe and experience as basis and grounds for exploration. A scientist in a basic sense of the word because everything must be questioned. And a pacifist in the most basic sense of the word; I don't look for answers in morality, but rather solutions in the cooperation of all things in nature.
Last night I thought about one particular day in my high school biology class when we were discussing evolution. At the time, I agreed with my teacher, as did the rest of our tiny five- or six-person class, so no real tension arose, and the discussion became less of a discussion and more of a group support session about how none of us believed in evolution, commandeered by our teacher. The funny thing is, I remember listening to her reasonings behind her beliefs, processing them, and agreeing with them just as easily as I could listen to and process the reasonings of an adamant evolutionist today. So I think to myself, "What has changed?"
The complex answer to that question, I'm finding, comes from a much less complex understanding of what it means to be human, or even further, what it means to exist. No surprise these fun little musings sprung up in my mind around 2 a.m., I should guess. Anyway, just roll with me here, if you feel so inclined. If not, please feel no personal obligation to continue reading this blog post.
I read an article online this morning about a young woman's most profound spiritual experience. Actually, I shouldn't say it was her "most profound" because I don't know if she's had any experiences she considers more profound since writing the article. Anyway, it was about 300 words recounting a trip she made to South America where she encountered a deep sense of self-worth just from being out in the open spaces of a rocky region in the mountains. One line stuck out in particular to me, and it went something like this (I'm loosely paraphrasing): What I realized about unity, about being part of a whole, is that my life is a journey in living within the illusion of life but never accepting it. Wow, I thought. How can such a simple statement affect me so deeply? I felt taken aback for a brief moment as I ate my breakfast omelette and sipped my orange juice. The line set up shop in my mind as I contemplated it and prepared to explore what it had to offer me.
So frequently have I found that life's most elusive mysteries, questions like "What's the meaning of life?" or "How do I find happiness?" resound powerfully within us because our mind's don't quite know how to answer them yet we desperately desire an answer anyway. To me, that speaks volumes about what's important to us as creatures, as objects in our own rights. Who we are is defined by the questions we ask. Every person I've ever met has wondered what their purpose is. Why is that? Some would say that it's an illusion of our own consciousness, that our minds have evolved to a level of intelligence where it's possible to facilitate meaning to everything, including our own lives, even when there may be none. Others might say it's because there truly is a purpose, or reason, to everything.
I agree with both views.
The very fact that this random girl's article affected me so deeply tells me two things: first, that her words "mean" something to me, for whatever reasons, and second, that I have the ability to recognize that meaning and assign in a place in my life, or my plan of actions waiting to be performed, to put it blandly. Furthermore, the fact that I'm writing this very blog post in order to share this newfound knowledge is proof to me that meaning is inherently infectious. When a child learns something new, what do they do? They tell everyone ALL about it. Kids really can talk for days. When I was a kid and my parents got divorced, I used to sit in the back seat of my mom's car when she came to pick me up for a visit and babble, babble, babble about all the things I felt she should be updated on in my 8-year-old life. Our egos are marvelous machines. But let's be honest. As extensions of our physical bodies, it should come as no surprise to us that our own general states of self-awareness have the power to figuratively and quite literally shape the world around us. Our egos are responsible for every shade of meaning we will ever perceive in our lives.
It's my belief that humanity is in a current state of transition from our soon-to-be brutish past of competition, capitalism, and neighborly envy to a more (uh oh I'm gonna use this word) enlightened state of greater awareness of, respect for, and practical cooperation with each other. This is the true beginning of the Information Age, a cultural crossroads in which knowledge is no longer safeguarded by higher authorities in an attempt to maintain power but instead shared freely among individuals who seek to further their own understanding of the world around them. Along with this era comes the inevitable defiance of the ego, or as I like to refer to it, the struggling memory of our former selves. As purpose for the ego diminishes, society flourishes and evolution naturally takes over.
But what does that mean? Basically, to me, it means letting go. It means fundamentally rejecting what holds oneself back from progress. Ironically, the "Self" part is exactly what holds one's self back. The Self, or Ego, demonstrates considerable clout in determining what we think and do. It's responsible for our tendencies to step back, hesitate, and of course fear. It's responsible for some productive and responsible things as well, like self-evaluation and conflict resolution, because, as my Wellness professor put it when referring to the common practice of Body Mass Indexing, if it weren't useful, we wouldn't still use it. I think, as this surge in technology and modern medicine moves forward, many people, myself included, begin to seek answers that science can't yet provide. And yet, our egos seem to hold us back by reminding us of our own imperfections.
Humans have evolved, or adapted, if you prefer, an awareness of the ego, an understanding of the glue that keeps our "selves" (moral sentiments, emotions, convictions, insecurities, pride, self-worth) together, as well as a slightly less foggy understanding of how that glue works. Our brains are clever. Clever enough to trick actually themselves into believing whatever they want, choose, or need to believe, so I am inspired by anyone who really "gets" this concept. The rise of a greater awareness of all of this makes this a stage in our collective history unlike anything previously written down in textbooks or scribbled onto the memory of our minds.
Whether or not someone agrees with or believes in evolution or creationism or hedonism or omelette-ism means nothing to me. Evolution is simply a word that means "moving forward." I don't really know what the exact etymology of the word is but you get where I'm coming from, right? Look around you and you'll notice that life doesn't stand still; it moves forward, always, in an unending rhythm of symmetrical harmony. For whatever reasons, this is what it is and how it is. There's no denying it. So why fight it? Why argue over whether or not evolution is right or whether it's wrong? Why stand around debating the semantics which we ourselves created? Even though it's my nature to do so, I don't like to assume. I can assume, though, based on twenty-one fresh years of childlike observation, that anyone who is like me, aka human, will be able and willing to connect in some way to what I'm saying, care about it, build off of it, hopefully help it grow, and let it benefit the both of us. That's the type of behavior I believe will change the world. It's all I can really hope to live for.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)