God bless the Internet. I've made my way through half of the newest season of Law & Order: SVU via a site that has every episode ever aired on television available for free online viewing. You can imagine how I spent my first three days of Christmas break.
During the first week of Christmas break, I've had the opportunity to do the following:
- reunite with my best friend after five months of non-negotiable isolation
- catch a stomach flu bug from my family's Christmas Eve party, which spared no victims
- watch The Prince of Egypt twice
- retrieve every one of my Enya cds, which pleased me more than anything should
- take enough Photobooth pictures to remind me of how much I love my sister, cousin, and best friend
- stock up on Axe products that were given to me as Christmas gifts
Despite being sick on Christmas, I enjoyed being back home more than I anticipated. It was the first time I'd been back to my home town since August, which seems like an eternity. In reality, though, the moment I got back, it was like I never even left. My best friend and I have this unique relationship which allows us to go for long periods of time without communication and still pick up where we left off. I meant to visit a bunch of other people I hadn't seen since August as well, but that never happened, unless it was one of my high school classmates working at Wal-Mart on the day after Christmas when I went through the checkout line. I wanted to see a few of my high school teachers as well as everyone at my church, but again... that never happened. I feel kind of bad for that, because I feel like I have an obligation to visit and catch up with everyone back home whenever I get the chance, which is infrequent.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed Hooker and all it has to offer me: family, friends, and tumbleweeds. Now, I'm in Kansas City staying with my cousin Keith until school starts up again. The snow here makes me want to go to Colorado and ski.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Indecisiveness
My goal over Christmas break is to decide whether or not to get a tattoo when I get back to school. If I do get one, I want it to be meaningful. Also, the question is WHAT to get and WHERE to get it. I've seen people get tattoos for a number of different reasons. My mom got my former step-dad's name tattooed on her upper arm, which was obviously a mistake, seeing how they're not together anymore. That reminds of me of something Angelina Jolie would do. I don't want to be Angelina Jolie.
Tattoos are permanent, and that, to me, is daunting. I'm not the type of person who is typically comfortable with huge permanent changes made to my body, but I feel like if I actually took that bold step and got a tattoo, it would be a giant leap of progress for my personality. I'm not sure how to explain that, but the "hit" part of this "hit-or-miss" decision thrills me. Maybe being forced to live with something that I liked deep down but regretted on certain days would be good for me.
I've always toyed with the thought of getting a colorful tattoo across one side of my chest and up my neck. That's me, though. Go big or go home. Naturally, my first thoughts about getting a tattoo were to get a BIG one and one that would stand out. Nothing small, because in my mind, a small one would be a waste of time and money.
I'm slowly working up the courage to consider this decision as a Yes. I'm waiting to see if I really want this or if it's just another passing obsession that I'll forget about in two weeks and wonder why I ever wanted to do such a thing. Recently, I've been taking huge steps towards understanding my personality better and exploring all the facets of it, and I want something that reflects those revelations, or better yet, exemplifies and symbolizes them.
I wish there were some way to have a trial period with tattoos, but I think that would take away most of the thrill of getting one.
Tattoos are permanent, and that, to me, is daunting. I'm not the type of person who is typically comfortable with huge permanent changes made to my body, but I feel like if I actually took that bold step and got a tattoo, it would be a giant leap of progress for my personality. I'm not sure how to explain that, but the "hit" part of this "hit-or-miss" decision thrills me. Maybe being forced to live with something that I liked deep down but regretted on certain days would be good for me.
I've always toyed with the thought of getting a colorful tattoo across one side of my chest and up my neck. That's me, though. Go big or go home. Naturally, my first thoughts about getting a tattoo were to get a BIG one and one that would stand out. Nothing small, because in my mind, a small one would be a waste of time and money.
I'm slowly working up the courage to consider this decision as a Yes. I'm waiting to see if I really want this or if it's just another passing obsession that I'll forget about in two weeks and wonder why I ever wanted to do such a thing. Recently, I've been taking huge steps towards understanding my personality better and exploring all the facets of it, and I want something that reflects those revelations, or better yet, exemplifies and symbolizes them.
I wish there were some way to have a trial period with tattoos, but I think that would take away most of the thrill of getting one.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Addressing The Issue
Last night I watched "What Dreams May Come," with Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding, Jr. I like that movie because it explores death and the afterlife and all the unknown aspects of it in an impressionistic way. I think that's what death is like--impressionistic. I like thinking about the journey of a soul from one world to another, transcending reality. Reality to me has always seemed like a subjective matter. A good majority of the time, I feel like I'm living in a dream. Movies like "What Dreams May Come," "The Science of Sleep," and "The Fountain" address my feelings toward mixed reality, surrealism, and death.
I'm not afraid of death. I think of it as just another extension of my existence. I think that when I die, everything will seem no less real than it already does.
I feel like the bonds between human beings never really die, especially the ones forged out of love. I say that based on what I felt when my dad died, and what I still feel today, a year later. I can still feel him and every ounce of selfless love he had for me and my siblings. My sister called me today. She told me that she's been having an especially difficult time handling my dad's death, even after how much time has passed since. When my sister gets emotional, she starts slurring her words, and it's hard for me to make out what she's saying through her crying, but all I found myself telling her was that she needed to keep talking about it. Which is true. She hasn't been addressing the issue, and therefore it keeps popping up like a recurring nightmare. The more she talks to me about it, the better she feels. She has a heart of gold, just like our dad, and I love her so much.
This blog is considerably more serious than previous entries. That's okay, in my opinion. I'm generally a serious person who fights against too much seriousness in his life, but sometimes it's good to express the seriousness when it needs expressing.
I'm not afraid of death. I think of it as just another extension of my existence. I think that when I die, everything will seem no less real than it already does.
I feel like the bonds between human beings never really die, especially the ones forged out of love. I say that based on what I felt when my dad died, and what I still feel today, a year later. I can still feel him and every ounce of selfless love he had for me and my siblings. My sister called me today. She told me that she's been having an especially difficult time handling my dad's death, even after how much time has passed since. When my sister gets emotional, she starts slurring her words, and it's hard for me to make out what she's saying through her crying, but all I found myself telling her was that she needed to keep talking about it. Which is true. She hasn't been addressing the issue, and therefore it keeps popping up like a recurring nightmare. The more she talks to me about it, the better she feels. She has a heart of gold, just like our dad, and I love her so much.
This blog is considerably more serious than previous entries. That's okay, in my opinion. I'm generally a serious person who fights against too much seriousness in his life, but sometimes it's good to express the seriousness when it needs expressing.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A Tacky Christmas Sweater Is Unnecessary But Oh So Desirable
Tonight we had a "dress" rehearsal for our Christmas vespers concert, which meant showing up in any type of clothes you wanted, just as long as you wore soft-soled shoes. The choirs sounded beautiful, in my opinion. No matter how much I may criticize or nit-pick either my choir or any of the others at the university, when it comes down to it, we all sound amazing. Especially in the chapel. My favorite part of the vespers service is when the chamber choir sings Lux Aurumque.
Cast lists for the spring stripped musicals have been formulated, but they won't be posted until tomorrow, since someone suggested all casting decisions should be approved by the voice faculty. That only lengthens the dreadful waiting period for the people who got callbacks. I swear, if one more person asks me to leak casting information, I'm going to shoot them with a rifle, which, by the way, I can legally purchase in the state of Oklahoma. But all murdering gestures aside, I'm really excited to play for another stripped show. Only this time, I'm the actual music director instead of the assistant music director, which means I'll get to do more than just accompany. I feel like I'm taking baby steps toward exploring music as opposed to just performing it.
Everyone keeps talking about Glee, and I feel out of the loop because I never watch it. It's not that I'm trying to be counterculture... I don't watch t.v. that often, and when I do, it's usually Bravo or the Food Network. I'm not a big fan of popular television series, except for Law & Order: SVU, and I haven't even been keeping up with that as much as I'd like to. No big loss, really. I'm not as dedicated a t.v. fan as most marketing directors would like.
I wish I had more sweaters for winter. I need to take a Wednesday off and make a trip to the Salvation Army. Wednesdays are half-price days, so says my aunt.
Cast lists for the spring stripped musicals have been formulated, but they won't be posted until tomorrow, since someone suggested all casting decisions should be approved by the voice faculty. That only lengthens the dreadful waiting period for the people who got callbacks. I swear, if one more person asks me to leak casting information, I'm going to shoot them with a rifle, which, by the way, I can legally purchase in the state of Oklahoma. But all murdering gestures aside, I'm really excited to play for another stripped show. Only this time, I'm the actual music director instead of the assistant music director, which means I'll get to do more than just accompany. I feel like I'm taking baby steps toward exploring music as opposed to just performing it.
Everyone keeps talking about Glee, and I feel out of the loop because I never watch it. It's not that I'm trying to be counterculture... I don't watch t.v. that often, and when I do, it's usually Bravo or the Food Network. I'm not a big fan of popular television series, except for Law & Order: SVU, and I haven't even been keeping up with that as much as I'd like to. No big loss, really. I'm not as dedicated a t.v. fan as most marketing directors would like.
I wish I had more sweaters for winter. I need to take a Wednesday off and make a trip to the Salvation Army. Wednesdays are half-price days, so says my aunt.
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